Being a transplant from the East Coast affords me the opportunity to experience the subtle changes in our nation that creep up from place to place. For instance, the further west you go you will find that soda is referred to as pop, basements are called cellars and anything thrown on some dough with tomato juice and then whipped into an oven is known as pizza. As such I joke around with my friends by saying things like, "Back in America we had something known as Pizza," or "Back in America we call it soda," and ribbing of that nature.
Well at work there are always people selling things for their kids school, sports teams, or scouts troops. Everybody throws some money in to help each other out. Recently a friend of mine was hawking Girl Scout cookies. I refrained from buying any because I knew that I would eat a box or two in a sitting so I didn't even look at his order sheet. A few nights ago he showed up with his goods for those who bought a box or five.
So, here we are at one of our breaks and people are opening up their boxes and enjoying some cookies. Someone asked me if I wanted one to which I responded, "Do you have any Samoas?" Well I could have been speaking Japanese for all he cared because the look he shot me was one of incredulity, as if I had said something wrong or unintelligible. He didn't even ask "What?" So I was forced to say, "What's the problem?"
As we continued I noticed others in the break room had heard what I had said and were curious as to what I had meant. He finally said, "What are you talking about?" I told that I wanted a Samoa if he had bought any. He said that he didn't know what I was talking about and that he only had Peanut Butter Patties. I then said, "You mean Tagalongs?" Again silence and staring. The thought popped into my mind that I was not in America anymore.
No one knew what I was talking about and they said that the cookies I spoke of never existed. I disagreed. They then said that if they did the names were changed a million years ago(insinuating that I am old). I told them, "You know, the vanilla cookie covered with coconut and caramel with dark chocolate drizzled on it? It is the best seller for the Girl Scouts!" "Do you mean the vanilla cookie with caramel and coconut with milk chocolate drizzled on it?" Not sure of myself any longer I said yes. "Then you mean Caramel deLites!" I nervously laughed but I had meant Samoas. What the heck was going on? I mean when I was at McDonald's earlier that day they weren't selling Le Royales with cheese! No, they were still selling Quarter Pounders with cheese. What was happening?!
I saw someone eating a Samoa(so I thought) and went up to them to get the box to prove my point but when I picked it up it said Caramel deLites(btw it is pronounced CARE-A-Mel and not CARMLE- just for those living in Dixon, Illinois). Faintly I heard the music from The Twilight Zone playing in the distance and I was ascared, very ascared! Where the heck was I and what had they done to my cookies!?
I had lived in several states and had bought and eaten Samoas, Tagalongs, Trefoils, and Do-Si-Dos from Connecticut to Missouri. What was the deal?
Well thank the good Lord for the Internet because my riddle was answered by finding out that the Girl Scouts use two different bakeries to make, basically, the same cookies. However, depending on the bakery the name is different. Furthermore each Girl Scout Council can use whatever bakery they choose so this disparity is not regional.
So it appears that I was right after all and that I live in an area where the cookies that I know and love are sold under different, more sterile sounding names. I tasted a Caramel deLite and it was too Caramelly(that is Carmelly for those of you who have just moved out of your parents house and into Dixon, Illinois) and not much of a deLite.
Oh, well I guess you can't have your cookies and eat them too. Man I miss America!
Mac
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