Tuesday, August 30, 2011

It's Really a Small World!

So my last post was about a woman that I noticed at WalMart after church this last Sunday. Well, we must run in similar circles because I literally bumped into her while I was running errands today. I had to get some things done early this morning and was out and about doing them and I was trying to get them done quickly. As I was rounding a corner I was looking in the opposite direction and I bumped into a person and we both found ourselves knocked flat on our keisters. At first I was in shock as to what happened and then it dawned on me as to what I had done and I felt so bad about it. Luckily she was laughing and actually apologizing as she was looking the opposite direction of where she was going too. Funny that!

Well, as I was clambering to my feet I noticed a Fish tattoo above her right ankle and then I shot a look at her feet (she was wearing flip flop type sandals) and I saw her flaky heels. But before I could flash back to the image of her beauty crumbling this past Sunday morning she said, "I am SO sorry about that. Are you alright?" And it snapped me out of my mental rewind and I told her that it was all my fault as I wasn't paying attention to where I was going. She started to laugh and confessed that she was doing the same thing. I really felt bad about my carelessness in my walking about and wanted to make it up to her and since it was 8:30 in the morning I offered to buy her a cup of coffee. She hesitated at first but then said that she was actually heading to a place for breakfast and asked me if I wanted to make it up to her by buying her the most important meal of the day. I said yes.

We headed to a diner that was two stores down and got a booth by a window. She ordered scrambled eggs and bacon and I got poached eggs and corned beef hash. Then we got to talking and about our "bumping" into each other and got a great chuckle over it. She said that I looked familiar to her and I said I don't believe that we'd ever met, however, I did let her know that I was at WalMart the other day and was behind her online. She asked how I remembered her and I said that I had noticed her Fish tattoo and then saw it this morning as we were getting to our feet. She blushed and gave a low moan when I mentioned the tattoo.

She said that she'd done that after her divorce 9 years ago as a sign that she was able to do as she pleased after being in a marriage to a very suffocating and controlling husband. She then went into what she had been through and how she was just getting her life back together and was looking to get back into dating but wasn't having any luck as "all of the good ones seemed to be already taken". And I told her that perhaps not all of them were, and then shot her a playful smile. She coyly smiled back at me and we proceeded to start a somewhat flirtatious dialog.

Perhaps it was because we were sitting at a table and I could not see her cracked flaky heels that had me giddy in playful banter with an attractive women. I mean every time I looked down all I saw were plates of eggs and breakfast meats, not heels crying out for pampering attention. I went with the flow and it seemed that we had some real chemistry and the next thing that I noticed was that we were holding hands across the table and it's been quite sometime since I've held the hand of a beautiful woman. I guess she was feeling a bit adventurous and able to express herself as she had never been able to do before. And it was this adventurousness that started the house of cards to come tumbling down because she decided to play footsie with me. I was wearing shorts and felt her toes start to run up my ankle as she had taken her foot out of her flip flops. It felt good and I have to admit that I really liked it. I liked it until her heel scraped my shin to which I flinched and sent my knee slamming up into the table knocking the carafe of coffee every which way.

The waitress came over quickly and cleaned the mess up and my breakfast companion asked me why I flinched. What could I say? I had to be honest and I swore that if I had ever met her before that my curiosity would get the better of me and it did now, throbbing knee and all. So I asked her what the deal was with her cracked, flaky heels. And when the words had left my mouth, hanging above our heads like a cartoon balloon, her face drained of all color and turned deathly pale. "How could you ask such a question?", she said. I was dumbfounded.

"I thought that you were different! I thought that you cared! You're just like all of the rest!" And then she reached down and grabbed a handful of scrambled eggs and flung them into my face and got up and stormed out, flaky heels and all. And me? Well I was left there with egg on my face.

Ah, none of this happened today. All I did today was get a haircut.


KC said...

Ward - you are an inspiration to us hack writers. You make me laugh, you pull me in, even though some was far-out, I still believed. You could make me drink cool-aid dude! Keep it coming. xo

Sherry said...

HAHAHA That was great! I'm ashamed to say I believed it up to the part where she threw the eggs in your face. :D