Stop Winking at Me!

There is a guy at work who seems to be a really nice man. I don't know him all that well aside from the casual conversations of "How are doing today?", and the like. He is a large man and appears to be a hard worker. However he doesn't wear a belt. Doesn't wear a belt? So what? you ask. Sure it sounds weird until you see him bending over a piece of machinery or stooping down to get something out of a vending machine and then see him winking at you. No, not with his eye, but with his plumber's crack. Man I see that thing at least 4 times a night and I really don't want to look at it anymore. Not that I WANTED to look at it in the first place.

The people that I spend my breaks with sit near the vending machines. The tables are towards the back of the break room and it is just the place where we congregate, play cards, eat our meals, talk about life, and generally give each other crap, in a friendly way. Me, being the good Lutheran that I am, sit with my back to the wall so I can see everything that goes on in the break room. I may have to re-think my Lutheranism in general and sit elsewhere so as not to see the MONSTER eyeing me anymore.

Everyone at the table knows that this guy is showing his crack with wreckless abandon. As a matter of fact they know when he enters the room as I usually say something to one of them like, "You must be on crack", or "Krakatoa was a violent explosion." Cute? Maybe. Subtle? Not so much.

I keep challenging my break mates to drop a quarter into his crack when he is bending over the vending machines and to say something like, "OH! I'm sorry I thought that was the coin slot for the machine." They are chickens, one and all and never go for it. And if you are thinking that I am a chicken I am not. I just feel that if I come up with the idea someone else should carry it out. Hey, I can't be the brains and the brawn of our breaks.

So, basically this post is written in the hopes that if you are a crack baby that you will pull your pants up, wear a belt and stop winking at the world. And if you know someone, anyone, exposing their evil eye then you should approach them and let them know of their offense. You can even do it while giving them a belt as a token of appreciation for them to cease and desist from their shame.

Are you with me on this? Make it happen!

Mac

BTW-The pic at the top is not of the guy or his eye. It is just there for exemplary purposes.