It's a Seinfeld World

I loved the show Seinfeld, along with 100 million other people. However, as the years march on by one thing is becoming more and more clear to me and it is that we are all living in a Seinfeld world. By this I mean that, if you have watched the show, inevitably there will be some point in your day or week where you come across a reference to that show from one of its episodes.

I was talking with a friend recently about a woman who was attractive and I said, "Yeah but she has man hands." The other person looked at me and knew exactly what I was talking about. And, by the way, I am shallow enough to have that one issue bother me to no end, the man-hands thing. I am not proud of it, but I offer this confession freely.

I remember the beginning of this past summer and another friend was determined to do all the things that he had put off and had never done before. He was going to jam it all into this summer. He looked at me, in all sincerity and said, "Dude, this is going to be the Summer of George!" His name was not George, though I knew what he was talking about and so did the others around me.

It is amazing to me at just how much that show is ingrained in our everyday lives without us really even knowing it. And when it is noticed everyone laughs and shares a common moment of mirth.

I was at a diner last winter ordering a sandwich with some soup. I asked for some New England Clam Chowder of which they were out. The waitress knew this as I ordered and said, "NO Soup for you! Come back one year!" I laughed and got the Beef Barley.

Anytime I can't remember a person's name I end up calling them Mulva. Most people laugh and say their name is really Delores.

I have known a Close Talker and it is really irritating to have someone up close and personal where you can smell their breath, count their fillings, and see how deep their pores are.

I work with a High Talker. I swear if my eyes were closed I would think he was a woman.

I was talking with a friend a couple of days ago about Uma Thurman. My son and I agree that she is beautiful, in the right light. My friend saw my point and agreed. Seriously, go watch Kill Bill Vol. 1 and 2 and you will see her beauty coming and going.

I remember the first time I ever ate at a Kenny Rogers Roasters. I kept walking around saying, "Kenny. Kennnny. Keeeennnnnnnnnyyyyy!" My wife was not amused.

I was at the bakery a while back with my kids and one of them wanted a black and white cookie. As I ordered it for them a guy, standing nearby, said "Look to the cookie!" I laughed and was inspired to order a Chocolate Babka and a Marble Rye and some muffin tops without the stumps.

I saw a guy who was about to get into a fight and he was really outmatched. The dude was not a fighter at all but he was hopped up on liquid courage of the John Barleycorn variety. He really thought that he could put a whoopin' on the guy who was the center of his wrath. He was so drunk and lacking good judgement that when the other guy grabbed him he yelled out, "DON'T TOUCH JIMMY! KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF OF JIMMY!" His name was not Jimmy and he really wasn't trying to be funny. A bunch of us started laughing, some of it was nervous laughter some of it was not. Well, the guy who grabbed him started to laugh and figured that "Jimmy" was not worth his time. Lesson learned was that if you are drunk, in a fight and about to get pummeled start quoting Seinfeld.

I was working with a friend at Pier 1 and needed to write something down. He had one of those pens that write no matter what even if you hold it above your head and were to write on an inverted pad of paper, the kind the astronauts use in space. He told me it was this type of pen. He said, "Do you like the pen? Do you want the pen? Go ahead, keep the pen!" I said, "NO!" and he said, "Go on, Keep the pen!" We had a good laugh, though just like Jack Klumpas he didn't let me keep the pen!

There are many other examples and they are all funny. However, I challenge you, dear reader, to go through a week and see how many times a reference comes up either in your mind or with someone actually saying it out loud. Then come back and let me know about.

And you wanted to be my latex salesman!