BFF

When I was younger I never heard anyone say to me, "We'll be Best Friends Forever!" I just assumed that it would always be that way. In most cases I was naive to the fact that friends come and friends go, through growing up, moving away, marriage, fights, indifference, and death. No hard feelings as I have been on the giving, as well as receiving end of these events. Life happens. It is what it is. A bitter pill to swallow, but one that most of us have experienced.

There are friends that I have thought about from time to time. I have wondered where they were and what they were doing. Are they even alive, and if so were they married and happy with life? I have looked up some and reconnected with them. It was nice to touch base and catch up. Our bonds were not as tight, but that is to be expected as growing up has brought with it more responsibilities: marriages, children, divorces, jobs, mortgages, in-laws (or out-laws in some cases).

I have noticed that I have found more friends from my past than have found me. I cannot deny that it stings a bit, the not having many people care enough to search me out. I automatically assume that my influence on their life was not so special and that I saw more in the friendship than was actually there. That is my problem, however, and I am dealing with that esteem issue everyday. I guess that I should not jump to conclusions as maybe old friends do think about me and wonder where I am and so forth. Life just gets in the way of putting actions behind feelings.

This past August I had the pleasure of receiving and email from someone from my past who holds a special spot in my heart. I felt like I had won the lottery as this was a person that I dated during my Senior year in high school. She was, in fact, the very first woman that I fell in love with, and there have only been a grand total of two including her. She came into my life at time of great upheaval for me. A time when I was in need of physical, spirtual, and emotional healing. She was a blessing from God and she lifted my spirits and gave me a gift that I could only hope to repay. She was a free spirit who looked at life differently than most and had a confidence about her that was not cocky but refreshing and hypnotic.

Well this friend has come back into my life at another time of great upheaval for me and again she is sowing her seeds of caring and hope. In just a few short months of trading emails and catching up she has instilled in me a positive outlook on life and desire to try my hand at certain things again. I had thought about her on and off since I graduated high school when we fell out of touch with each other. I lamented our life's paths taking different courses but that happens with growing up, right?

Well here it is Thanksgiving weekend 2007 and as I go through my list of things to be thankful for her name is right there at the top. I do appreciate her so much and I hope to be there for her in any facet of help that she may ever need. It is refreshing to have people in my life who do not just say that they care but actually mean it and act on. I have too many people in my life that look to me for help and and hope-and I will always give it to them-but when I look for some reciprocation they are silent. Not this lady. She has not changed, and if so it is only to have gotten better!

Will we be Best Friends Forever? Forever is such a long time and I have learned to be content in the here and the now.

So, thank you dear friend for your support and help and love. May God hold you in the palm of His hand always and may all of your hard roads be behind you!